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And a friend of Her father’s... And her French piano tutor...Tonight, she’s being chaperoned by her aged aunt... Dame Agatha... Who likes a drink and is plied by the captain with champagne until the point where she gets tipsy and feels the need to lay down for a time!The captain says to a servant, "Dame Agatha needs a short rest... Is there a private room, perhaps with a chaise lounge (a kind of settee) where she might rest for a moment?"Once her aunt is taken away. Sir Curtis takes Lady Emmaline’s hand and invites her out to the terrace. "Might you accompany me while I smoke a cheroot on the veranda, My Lady?"But, while they’re out there, he leans in and plants a kiss right on her lips. She’s rather put off by his forwardness. And his mustache tickles. "Sir! I really do not think you should be kissing me! And sir, your fingers are rubbing me on my buttocks. Why are you touching me like that? We don’t even know each other properly.”"I'm making you wet, you little tart. Perhaps. My answer to this would be “No, and you would make a horrible gay person. Firstly, because you find gay porn revolting.” This was a true story. A few weeks after I had come out to everyone, Alan had decided to “see what kind of porn I watch”. When he did, he couldn’t stop complaining about how disgusting he found it. Of course, a year later and approximately a few days after my argument with David, Alan’s previous experimentation with gay porn did not stop him from saying, “I’ve been considering experimenting with you.”Me: Totally XDAlan: I’m serious. I’ve given up on girls. They’re just too hard to get.Me: So are guys :P You don’t know anything about the gay community, so please don’t think it’ll be easier getting guys.Alan: But, I mean, you wouldn’t mind, would you.Me: EW! Of course I would! It would be fucking awkward.Alan: Yeah, that’s why I wanted to invite you over for a drinking game or something. Everyone’s gayer when they’re drunk. It’ll be easier for me.Me: Can you please.
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